Modern Christian Mythology: The Bones of John the Baptist Have Been Found

The Bones of John the Baptist Have Been Found

Dem Bones, dem bones, dem dry bones …

Trivia Question: How can ancient bones be matched up to an individual from antiquity? Yes yes, if there was soft squishy material also found, like bone marrow for instance, and we have known relatives, let’s say modern day ancestors or a deceased but confirmed relative, we could do DNA testing. That would still only tell us that the two subjects are related, and is still not a positive ID, though. Let’s say, there is no soft squishy material is found and there are no known relatives. What then? That’s right, shit out of luck. Sorry.

So, a recent news story has claimed the the bones of John the Baptist have been found at St Ivan Island off the coast of Bulgaria, which is about a thousand miles (check) from where the character supposedly died.

Great story. Lot of fun. It’ll probably draw in tourists by the boat load and be a boon to local economy. But, unfortunately, it’s full of shite.

Bulgaria is not the first place to claim to have relics (that’s a nice way of saying body parts) of John the Baptizer. Alexandria is quite famous for it, as are other places. Hay, he was popular guy. Everybody wanted a piece of him (rim shot!). One reason he was so popular is because he always kept his head about him. Well, not always (rim shot!).

Speaking of losing your noggin’, the infamous head of John the baptist is claimed to be in Munich, Germany … as well as Rome …  and  France … and Antioch … and Damascus. And probably a lot of other places, too.

It’s quite funny, really. Maybe I should claim that the oil stain in my garage is the blood of John the Baptist. I could charge people 5 bucks to kiss it. Apparently, when it comes to religion, anyone can make any damn claim they want to without anyone asking for proof. If anyone does ask if it’s real, you just need to tell them to have faith.

John The Baptist ... and a sheep

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3 Comments on “Modern Christian Mythology: The Bones of John the Baptist Have Been Found”


  1. Heheh… “kept his head,” “piece of him”…LOL.

    The problem is once the religious see it in print, it’s “Gospel.” We’ll be hearing about John’s bones having been “definitly identifed, proven, confirmed, and corroborated beyond a shadow of a doubt” for years. Just like the religiously stupid believe Noah’s ark has been found and proven.
    Stupidity and gullibility just keep marching on… like a march of lemings.


  2. PS: I have the true foreskin of John The Baptist. Interested buyers should contact me before I place it on ebay. It looks a little like the neck off a small snapping turtle..but trust me, this is genuine John penis cast off.

  3. Victor Says:

    The religious seem to be afraid to call out even the most absurd claims. Like calling a charlatan on their bull somehow makes them less of a Christian. Well, I guess it does, it makes them less gullible.


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