Join Oprah in the Afterlife

Yeah, it’s from the Onion. But, as I always say, ‘It’s funny cause it’s true!’

 

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10 Comments on “Join Oprah in the Afterlife”


  1. This is completely wrong!! Are these poor deceived people seeing her as a pharaoh????
    “WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD AND SERVE HIM ONLY!!!!”


  2. Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.’ Luke 4:8

    “…do not follow other gods to serve them…” Jeremiah 35:15

    “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”. John 14:6

    “Do not be deceived:..idolaters…will inherit the kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10


  3. All you Oprah fans out there involved in this thing – YOU’RE BEING DECEIVED BY THE DEVIL WHO’S TRYING TO GET YOUR SOULS!!
    REPENT AND COME TO JESUS AND THEN YOU’LL GO TO HEAVEN!!!!!!!

  4. Victor Says:

    Well, if the choice is between Oprah and Jesus, I guess I’ll take Oprah. She’s into the woo, but at least she doesn’t think she’s god!


  5. icals and Jesus IS GOD incarnate! He proved it over and over, by his miracles and his resurrection from the dead!!

  6. Victor Says:

    What? When did that happen?


  7. It happened nearly 2000 years ago in Jerusalem, God created us in His own image to have an abundant life. He did not make us as robots to automatically love and obey Him, but gave us a will and a freedom of choice.

    We chose to disobey God and go our own willful way. We still make this choice today. This results in separation from God.

    The Bible Says…

    “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
    Romans 3:23

    “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”
    Romans 6:23

    Our choice results in separation from God.

    Our Attempts:
    Good Works
    Religion
    Philosophy
    Morality

    Through the ages, individuals have tried in many ways to bridge this gap…without success…

    The Bible Says…

    “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.”
    Proverbs 14:12

    “But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid His face from you, that He will not hear.”
    Isaiah 59:2

    There is only one remedy for this problem of separation.

    God’s Remedy: The Cross
    Jesus Christ is the only answer to this problem. He died on the Cross and rose from the grave, paying the penalty for our sin and bridging the gap between God and people.

    The Bible Says…

    “For their is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Jesus Christ;”
    1 Timothy 2:5

    “For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God…”
    1 Peter 3:18a

    “But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
    Romans 5:8

    God has provided the only way…
    we must make the choice…

    Our Response: Receive Christ
    We must trust Jesus Christ and receive Him by personal invitation.

    The Bible Says…
    “Behold, I stand at the door and knock: If any man hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with Me.”
    Revelation 3:20

    “But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name.”
    John 1:12

    “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”
    Romans 10:9

    “Then peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized everyone of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall recieve the gift of the Holy Ghost.”
    Acts 2:38

    Where do you stand with God?

    Is there any good reason why you cannot receive Jesus Christ right now?
    How To Receive Christ
    Admit your need (I am a sinner).
    Be willing to turn from your sins (repent).
    Believe that Jesus Christ died for you on the Cross and rose from the grave.
    Through prayer, invite Jesus Christ to come in and control your life through the Holy Spirit. (Receive Him as Lord and Savior.)

    Dear Lord Jesus,
    I know that I am a sinner and need Your forgiveness. I believe that You died for my sins. I want to turn from my sins. I now invite You to come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as Lord and Savior. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

    God’s Assurance: His Word
    If you prayed this prayer,

    “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
    Romans 10:13

    Did you sincerely ask Jesus Christ to come into your life? Where is He right now? What has He given you?

    “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”
    Ephesians 2:8,9

    The Bible Says…

    “He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life. These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God, that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.”
    1 John 5:12-13

    Receiving Christ, we are born into God’s family through the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit who indwells every believer…this is called regeneration or the “new birth.”

    This is just the beginning of a wonderful new life in Christ. To deepen this relationship you should:
    Read your Bible every day to get to know Christ better.
    Talk to God in prayer every day.
    Tell others about Christ.
    Worship, fellowship, and serve with other Christians in a church where Christ is preached.
    As Christ’s representative in a needy world, demonstrate your new life by your love and concern for others.

  8. Victor Says:

    God created us 2,000 years ago in Jerusalem? I’m not that old.


  9. no, God created the earth and the first man and woman maybe over 4000 years ago – Jesus gave himself for our sins approx 2000 years ago!!! To provide a Bridge to heaven for all humans that will accept!!

  10. Victor Says:

    A bridge? Like, a walking bridge? Or is there a road we take to this place? Gave himself to who? For ‘our’ sins? Is this a monetary thing? Was this guy sold into slavery?


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