Rapture Countdown: T Minus 5 Days

THIS HOLLOW EARTH, Your Home For The Rapture Countdown.

As you are well aware, the Rapture is all set to happen this weekend, 5/21/11. How’s this Rapture thing going to go down, you ask? Well, it starts with Jesus coming down from … outer space … shouting. Then, the dead will rise up. In spirit, hopefully. It could get rather messy, otherwise. Then, all the “real” Christians (both of them) will float up into the air to have a little talk with Jesus, just kind of hanging there in the sky.

For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.
1 Thessalonians 4:15-17

Now, that may sound a little silly to you skeptics out there. You’re probably saying, “When pigs fly … they’ll meet Jesus in the air.” But, with all the trumpets, and angels, and eclipses going on, it may be be pretty hard to see what the hell is going on.

“But immediately after the tribulation of those days THE SUN WILL BE DARKENED, AND THE MOON WILL NOT GIVE ITS LIGHT, AND THE STARS WILL FALL from the sky, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. “And then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the SON OF MAN COMING ON THE CLOUDS OF THE SKY with power and great glory. “And He will send forth His angels with A GREAT TRUMPET and THEY WILL GATHER TOGETHER His elect from the four winds, from one end of the sky to the other.
-Matthew 24:29-31

And remember, if this doesn’t happen exactly as predicted in infallible scripture, feel free to call Christianity debunked. Then everyone will be free to convert to Scientology.

Explore posts in the same categories: Superstition in the Modern World

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