The Failed Apocalypse of Jesus Christ

Last week, Harold Camping  pulled a real boner. Or, did he? There may be some wiggle room for him after all.

Radio evangelist Harold Camping said in a special broadcast Monday night on his radio program Open Forum that his predicted May 21, 2011 Rapture was “an invisible judgment day“ that he has come to understand as a spiritual, rather than physical event.

Ok, so he was completely wrong. And he’s explaining it away as a spiritual thing, that you little people wouldn’t notice, but luckily Camping’s deep connection to the spirit world caught onto … after he thought about it for a couple of days. But, Harold Camping wasn’t the first guy to predict a failed apocalypse, and he won’t be the last. After all, Jesus beat him to it my about 2,000 years.

And Jesus was saying to them, “Truly I say to you, there are some of those who are standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God after it has come with power.”
-Mark 9:1 (70 CE)

Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass away, until all these things be accomplished.
-Mark 13:30

But, much to the surprise of the early Christians, Christianity actually caught on, i.e, it lasted more than a generation, the life span of most religious movements. And, when all this doomsday action did not come to pass, they had to say something about their own early documents. People were promised an apocalypse, damn it.

The fist major gospel re-write, Mathew, included a verse that made Jesus say that no one could know when the end would come. Not even him! (24:34). But, of course, for Jesus to know that he couldn’t  know, means he must have known something. Well, Jesus never said it, or course. The words are just the words of the author, wanting to calm his flock. Another work from the second century back up the apocalyptic backtracking.

Know this first of all, that in the last days mockers will come with their mocking,
following after their own lusts, and saying, “Where is the promise of His coming?
For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all continues just as it was from the beginning of creation.”

-2 Peter 3:3-4 (100-150 CE)

Ah, the non-ocalyptic back sliding. It’s almost as much fun as the actual non-ocalypse.

Explore posts in the same categories: Superstition in the Modern World

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