How to Drink Less Around Your Friends
Summertomato.com posted an article on 8 Tips for Drinking Less Without Your Friends Knowing. I didn’t really care for any of the tips, though. Many of them were just cheap tricks, and didn’t really tackle the issue head on. So, I’ve taken it upon myself to come up with my own 8 Ways to Drink Less When Out With Your Friends.
- Shit yourself. The smell is bound to keep people away. And, if no one is around you, then no one will be buying you drinks.
- Fake a seizure. Roll your eyes, fall down on the floor, roll around. Once you bang your head and start bleeding at the temples, the party’s just about over. One more beer and your friends will call for help.
- Find less annoying friends that won’t drive you to drink.
- Pretend to be in a deep state of meditation.
- Noodle Dance!
- Brake a beer bottle over the bartender’s head. He won’t serve you the rest of the night. At least nothing hard.
- Tell everyone you’re pregnant. It works for guys, too, but you’ll have to be real aliment.
- Go into Glenn Beck rants. Your friends will be telling you you’ve had enough.