Archive for the ‘Oddball Theories’ category

Adam-God in the Mormon Tradition

May 16, 2011

Did you know that the early Mormons believed that Adam, of Garden of Eden fame, was one and the same as Yahweh, god of the Hebrews? Ret-conning well before Crisis on Infinite Earths. Not bad.

Doctrine and Covenants 27:11 (a ‘Revelation’ given to Joseph Smith, August 1830)

And also with Michael, or Adam, the father of all, the prince of all, the ancient of days …

Journal of Discourses, Vol 1, page 50 (Brigham Young, April 9 1852)

… when our father Adam came into the garden of Eden, he came into it with a celestial body and brought Eve, one of his wives with him. He is our father and our God and the Only god with whom we have to do.

Journal of Discourses, Vol 5, page 331

Some have grumbled because I believe our God to be so near to us as Father Adam. There are many who know that doctrine to be true.

October 8, 1854 – 24th Semiannual General Conference

I tell you,when you see your Father in the heavens, you will see Adam; when you see your Mother that bears your spirit, you will see mother Eve…

L. John Nuttall, (Brigham Young’s secretary)

We have heard a great deal about Adam and Eve. how they were formed… he was made of the dust of the earth but not of this earth… he was made just the same way you and I are made but on another earth. Adam was an immortal being when he came. on this earth he had lived on an earth similar to ours

Wilford Woodruff, LDS Church President, April 4, 1897

Adam is our father and God and no use to discuss it with Josephites or any one else.

Apparently, the doctrine is no longer adhered to in the LDS church, which is a shame. I think the Adam-God idea is pretty neat. Not only because it’s a major ret-con of the Hebrew myth, but also because it sounds kind of Sci-Fi, coming to earth as a celestial being and being transformed into a man the gives birth to the entire human race. I wouldn’t have stopped there, though. I would have made the Garden of Eden a self sustaining space ark and Adam and Eve two genetically enhanced humans, breed for a long enough lifespan to survive the journey to the nearest inhabitable star system. The landing of the ship could be represented as the “fall” of man.

Someone “Finds Atlantis” … Again

March 12, 2011

A new press release posing as a news story has revealed to the world that a team of scientists, one that just happened to have had a documentary film crew monitoring  their every movement, has just discovered the lost city of Atlantis!

“Could the fabled lost city of Atlantis have been located? Using satellite photography, ground-penetrating radar and underwater technology, a team of experts (led by University of Hartford professor and archaeologist Richard Freund) has been surveying marshlands in Spain to look for proof of the ancient city. If the team can match geological formations to Plato’s descriptions and date artifacts back to the time of Atlantis, we may be closer to solving one of the world’s greatest mysteries.”

Yeah, that sounds impressive. Using satellite photography to find something that’s pretty much right were Plato said it was 2,000 years ago.

Plato mentions Atlantis as being:

“an island situated in front of the straits which are by you called the Pillars of Hercules [the Strait of Gibraltar]”

And, the Strait of Gibraltar is on the southern tip of Spain. This “new” find is up the coast from that.

So, was Plato talking about this city, now situated in a large swamp, when he wrote of Atlantis? Well, considering that Plato used the very ancient date of 9,000 years before his lifetime as a date for the Atlantean naval super power, and also mentions the Greek pantheon of gods as being active on earth, divvying up plots of land and carving mountains, I doubt he had any real historical city in mind. It sounds to me a lot like a story that occurred “long long ago” and “far far away”. Perhaps as a vehicle to teach some philosophy. But, I might be wrong.

Another reason to believe that Plato had no real knowledge of  an “Atlantis”, especially if it would have been located in Spain, is his depiction of them worshiping a Greek god. Plato merely assumes that they would worship Poseidon, since he is casting them as being an island nation. As far as I’ve seen, there are no records of Poseidon being worshiped in that region.

What would be impressive, is if these sunken city seekers actually set up some sort of clear criteria to determine if they are, in fact, right or wrong with their identification of this legendary nation, rather than just explaining everything they find in terms of Atlantis. Will they do this? Probably not.

ruins display an image carved in stone of what looks to be an Atlantean warrior — guarding the entrance to the lost, multi-ringed city

So, what does an Atlantean warrior look like?

Belated Blasphemy Day

October 1, 2010

I missed Blasphemy Day yesterday, so here it is. Enjoy

Welcome to the Center of the Earth

September 13, 2010

Mmmm. Interesting. Interesting, as in, I wonder how far this nutjob got. Far enough to discover that the Earth is actually filled with creamy creamy nougat?

This is a teaser the North Pole Inner Earth Expedition film that you can purchase at