Archive for the ‘Religion Leading to Stupidity’ category

Teaching Children to be Delusional

September 24, 2011

Becky Fischer (of Jesus Came fame) teaches children in Singapore that they can raise the dead. Perhaps it’s just metaphorical, you say. Perhaps it’s just a lesson on invigorating a drab and boring life. Well, at the 6 minute mark, she says that she know kids that have prayed for dead animals, and they came back to life.


The Purpose Driven Life

June 14, 2011

Bill Maher reads from the most inane drivel ever written, The Purpose Driven Life

That’s Not in the Bible

June 6, 2011

CNN has an interesting article this week call, Actually, That’s Not In The Bible. It’s an interesting piece about verses that people believe are from the Bible, that aren’t. Occasionally, people will even base life philosophies on these mistakes, like “Spare the rod, spoil the child”, without ever once checking to see if it is actually Biblical in origin. Interesting stuff, but the quote that leapt out at me was this:

“Most people who profess a deep love of the Bible have never actually read the book,” says Rabbi Rami Shapiro …“They have memorized parts of texts that they can string together to prove the biblical basis for whatever it is they believe in,” he says

Most people I know have never read the Bible. Yet, they have pretty firm beliefs about what it says. Where do they get these beliefs from? From the culture around them, of course. But, since the people around them haven’t read the Bible either, most of those beliefs are wrong. As far as I’ve seen, not only are most people disinterested in learning what the Bible says, most people are actually opposed to learning what the Bible says. In a recent debate I attended, Dan Barker brought up a verse from the Psalms that blesses those that bashes the heads of their enemies babies against the rocks. Pretty chilling thought, huh? But, what really grabbed me is that, in a room full of Christians, none of them seemed to really care. They sure didn’t go home and fact check it. That’s the type of thing atheists (of future atheists) do.

When I was in high school I had decided that I was going to read the Bible. Not because it was The Good Book; that would remain to be seen. But, because it was a was a book that carried a lot of cultural significance. I figured it was just part of being a well informed person to understand it. So, I grabbed a Bible, American Standard Version, and started at page one of Genesis, took on a bit everyday, and read it on through to Revelations. That pretty much sealed it for me, I wasn’t a Christian. Or a Jew. Not even in a cultural sense.

It wasn’t because it made me mad, as some Christians seem to think, even though there are some sections that are down right primitive in their moral stance. That’s not the book’s fault. The authors actually did live in those times, and are going to reflect it. People today don’t, though. So, if we are to have any moral sense, we should recognize that the Bible is not a book to look up to. So, I didn’t find it to be a moral book.

I also didn’t find it to be a book of ‘wisdom’, ancient or otherwise. When reading over the works of Plato or Aristotle, you are right to be impressed with their insight, even though most of what they said is essentially wrong. But, they investigated their world, learned what it had to offer, and tried to consolidate what they know. The Hebrews didn’t do any of that. They wrote, and wrote in a poetic manner. But, they just wrote of their own beliefs. They did not take in the beliefs of others to try to learn and expand what they knew.

I didn’t find a ‘history’ book, either. The Dueteronomic history is actually a pretty good attempts at history for the day, but it’s not to be trusted as a history by today’s standards.

No, what I found was a book that reads very much like the Iliad or the Odyssey; angry gods drowning the earth because of the din of the noise, 2 million Hebrews wandering through the desert at one time, etc. Many Christians today will admit that the Old Testament is not the book to look to, but then they will still hold up Jesus as some sort of a great role model. Well, he can’t be a role model, he’s a god! And in a very mythical sense! Healing miracles (a few select people in his geographical location), turning water into wine for one very insignificant celebration. It’s just not the way I would expect a supernatural being to act. I didn’t see Jesus as a moral teacher, either. Go ahead, read Mark. Jesus is trying to one up the Jewish scholars of the day, proving himself the superior figurehead.

The Bible can be interesting. If, what you’re interested in is reading about the religious beliefs of a people long gone. And, I’m just weird enough that I enjoy that kind of thing. Of course, I’ve read Dianetics, too. Again, as a book of knowledge, a real piece of crap. But, as a key into the mind of a lunatic, priceless. And my copy of Dianetics is right next to my copy of the Bible (which I have color coded to highlight the sources). And that’s next to Helter Skelter, another book about a religious movement. That one didn’t last as long.

Saint John Coltrane?

February 11, 2011

A Saint Worth Revering? The African Orthadox Church officially declared saxophone great John Coltrane a saint in 1971 , a mere four years after his death. While listening to Trane can be a transcendental experience, they may be taking it a bit too far.

Blood of Christ Has Hep A

January 4, 2011

A throng of people that lined up to drink a liquid they believed to be the blood of Jesus of Nazareth, an itinerant Jewish preacher thought to have lived about 2,000 years ago, may have been exposed to Hepatitis A

From CNN:

“Hundreds of people might have been exposed to hepatitis A while receiving communion on Christmas Day, Long Island officials said Monday.

The Nassau County Department of Health is offering vaccines to those who attended two services at Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Massapequa Park in Long Island, New York, according to Nassau County Department of Health spokeswoman Mary Ellen Laurain.

Individuals might be at risk if they received communion during the 10:30 am and noon Masses, according to a statement from the county health department.”

So, do church staff, that are handing out food and drink, have to follow proper food safety and sanitation procedures? Apparently not.

The War on Christmas: 1921

December 17, 2010

The ever popular War on Christmas forges on, let’s not forget the ghosts of War on Christmas’s past. As it turns out, Henry Ford had his own Christmas vendettas to fight in 1921!

‘And it has become pretty general. Last Christmas most people had a hard time finding Christmas cards that indicated in any way that Christmas commemorated Someone’s Birth. Easter they will have the same difficulty in finding Easter cards that contain any suggestion that Easter commemorates a certain event. There will be rabbits and eggs and spring flowers, but a hint of the Resurrection will be hard to find. Now, all this begins with the designers of the cards.’
-Henry Ford, The International Jew: The World’s Foremost Problem

Of course, Henry Ford was a raging anti-Semitic bastard that only succeeded in life by working the life out of his employees.

Top Religion Fails of 2010

December 9, 2010

10 – Jessica Simpson mistakes beauty show for missionary work (via celebuzz)

Discussing the show—in which Simpson traveled the world to explore other cultures’ concepts of beauty—at the Gracies Awards in Beverly Hills on Tuesday, Ms. Chicken or Tuna likened the experience to a religious trek:
“I’m not saying I’m changing the world….It’s similar to missionary work. It was what I was called to do and called to be.”

9 – Atheists beat the religious on religion knowledge test

According to a survey conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, atheists and agnostics tend to know more about religion than members of most faiths, the Los Angeles Times reports. For example, most Protestants could not identify Martin Luther as the founder of the Protestant movement. Atheists took the top spot in the survey, followed by a tie between Mormons and Jews.

8 – Touchdown Jesus hit by lightning

It appears God has sacrificed his only son. Again.
A bolt struck a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ on Monday outside a church in Monroe, Ohio, and the statue erupted in flames. All that remains is a charred steel skeleton, its spindly arms stretched toward heaven, a gesture that once earned it the nickname “Touchdown Jesus.”

7 – Jeweler uses fear of the End Times to sell diamonds

Did you know the Bible predicts the day of the Lord, followed by the return of Jesus Christ to Jerusalem? As I read the daily news and look around the world, I believe we’re really close to that day. Nonetheless, here and now, if you want jewelry, I have access to millions. Diamonds and gemstones, gold, silver, watches and clocks, and I’m selling everything at 50 percent off, giving you unbelievable savings.

6 – Church members sue church when the Apocalypse does not come as planned

They want their money back, claiming they handed over more than $400,000 and $1 million respectively to the church based on lies about a doomsday scenario.

A lawyer representing both plaintiffs, David Riggall, told the hearing it was possible the suppressed case may be resolved without going to trial.

Hey, aren’t churches supposed to have some leeway on religious messages? Come on, it’s not like they’re selling you anything important, like a microwave.

Apocalypse Not-Now


5 – Pope declares that condoms make AIDS problems worse

In his first public comments on condom use, the pontiff told reporters en route to Cameroon that Aids “is a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, and that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems”.

Afterwards the Pope was heard whispering to an advisor, “What’s AIDS? For that matter, what the hell are condoms?”

4 – Pope finds out what condoms are, and says they could be ok … if you’re a whore

Pope Benedict XVI has said that in special cases, such as that of prostitutes trying to prevent HIV infection

3 -Pope says gay men can’t be priests. But, if you are a gay priest, you should lie about it.

In the book, the pope also confirms that gay men, even if chaste, cannot be priests and says they should not reveal their sexual orientation if they have already been ordained.

When asked for further comment, the Pope said, “Well, … come on. We can’t get rid of all the gay priests. Where are you going to find a straight man willing to dress like this?!”

2 – Muslims pray in the wrong direction

For more than 200 million Muslims in Indonesia, Mecca just moved. Instead of facing Islam’s most holy city, a clerical error of astronomical proportions has seen the faithful directing their prayers towards Kenya and southern Somalia.

Now, just think of all those missed prayers just floating around in space


1 – Vatican declares that ordaining women would be equivalent to child rape on the sin-o-meter

It was meant to be the document that put a lid on the clerical sex abuse scandals that have swept the Roman Catholic world. But instead of quelling fury from within and without the church, the Vatican stoked the anger of liberal Catholics and women’s groups by including a provision in its revised decree that made the “attempted ordination” of women one of the gravest crimes in ecclesiastical law.

The change put the “offence” on a par with the sex abuse of minors.

In his defense, the Pope says, “What-a-you looking at me for? You knew what you were getting into!”

Come on, give me a hug, you feminist bitch!