Archive for the ‘Conspiracy Theories’ category

Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot-a-versary

October 20, 2011

On October 20th 1967, Roger Patterson and Robert Gimlin shot what would become the world’s most famous Bigfoot film footage.

But, since the world will end tomorrow, I guess it doesn’t really matter all that much. Unless, of course, Bigfoot Jesus comes down from his heavenly throne to save the world again.

Nemesis Death Star De-bunking in the MainStreams

August 30, 2011

Every once in awhile the main stream press will spend some time correcting highly confused thinking. MSNBC has a piece on Nemesis/Planet X mess. Way to go Alan Boyle.

“Like many other 2012 myths, the Nemesis hypothesis had a smidgen of scientific research behind it. Back in 1984, paleontologists proposed that there seemed to be a 27 million-year cycle of extinctions that may have had an extraterrestrial cause. The prime suspect was a hypothetical brown dwarf or red dwarf that disrupted the orbits of comets on the solar system’s fringe and sent them screaming earthward.
Nemesis has gotten swept up with the Planet X hypothesis, which holds that an as-yet-undetected planet will wreak havoc on Earth ”

“Last year, researchers reported that if the Nemesis companion existed, it wouldn’t orbit in a nice, precise 27 million-year cycle. That study, published in the Royal Astronomical Society Letters, was portrayed as the “final nail in the coffin” for the Nemesis hypothesis. “

Ah, but don’t you see. These “researchers” are only part of the conspiracy, and their little “debunking” of the story only proves that they are covering it up! In fact, it really drives home the truth of the claim. 

Oh, wait a minute. Got caught up in the crazy. Ah, when else can you whip out so many exclamation marks?


The 2012 (Religious?) Movement

August 14, 2011

The belief that the end of the world, or a massive meteor strike, or .. or something, will happen on Dec 12, 2012 (12/12/12 … get it?) is pretty popular. But, the widely accepted belief system may be more than just a bunch of crazy assholes with huge gaps in their education. It may shed light on the formation of religious movements. Archaeologist John Hoopes has an interesting interview about the subject over at Boing Boing.

MKB: We’re starting to see anthropologists publishing research on the 2012 movement. Why is the movement something important to study on its own, separate from the traditional archaeology that seeks to understand what ancient Mayans believed?


JH: Mainly because I think it gives us an opportunity to see how religious movements begin.

There’s a lot in that mythology that people are referring to as if it is real or as something they want to believe in. It’s been tied together with the Age of Aquarius, the legitimacy of prophecy, and visionary experiences. There’s a lot there that’s similar to the beginnings of other religious traditions. Christianity, for instance, began in the context of messianic prophecies. The LDS church began in the context of speculation about Native Americans and concerns about the end of the world. And the Millerite movement of the 1840s is another one. That gave rise to today’s Seventh Day Adventists and Jehovah’s Witnesses. William Miller prophesied the second coming for October 1844. And even though it didn’t happen, it still had a lasting legacy because so many people believed. Publications started by Millerites are still the publications of the Jehovah’s Witnesses today. I really think there will be some religious or spiritual movements that come out of the 2012 mythology. If you go into Barnes and Noble and look in the metaphysics or spirituality sections, you’ll find tons of books about 2012. It’s not treated as historical or scientific, but as spiritual.

An American Expedition to the Hollow Earth?

May 9, 2011

I love those little books of facts you can pick up for a couple of bucks at Barnes and Noble. Not because they’re informative. But, precisely because they’re not. Take one, open it up, close your eyes, and point to any random “fact”, and it will be wrong.

I came across an interesting little claim in one of those little fact books today. A claim that, in the 1829, the United States sent an expedition consisting of two ships to the South Pole to search for the entrance to … the Hollow Earth!

Now, I didn’t immediately think it was wrong because “America would never do such a thing”. No, I immediately thought it was wrong because it would be far too cool if that had actually happened. And, because I’ve been a bit interested in the the Hollow Earth Theory (oh, it’s hilarious to even type it out) as of late, and I have never ran across this claim. Sending a couple of ships out to the pole is no small feet. If it did happen, I think I would have heard of it.

But, like most crazy claims, there’s tasty filling of truth in there. An expedition was proposed. It just never got anywhere close to being approved.

John Cleves Symmes, Jr (there was no John Cleves Symmes Sr), was an American army officer. In 1818, he proposed a revision to the Hollow Earth Theory, one featuring a series of concentric sphere’s with openings to them at the North and South Poles. He traveled around the country giving lectures on his theory, and became quite a popular speaker, inspiring others to pick up the mantle and speak on the subject as well. Of course, not everyone fell for it. I that it could be reliably compared to the anti-vax movement today.

The US President at the time, John Quincy Adams, actually approved of the idea! It being the end of his term, however, he never would have even had the chance approve of any proposal, even if it had gotten through Congress. Which it did’t.

Mr. Revnolds is a man who has been lecturing about the country in support of Captain John Cleves Symmes’s theory, that the earth is a hollow sphere, open at the Poles. His lectures are said to have been well attended, and much approved as exhibitions of genius and of science. But the theory itself
has been so much ridiculed, and is in truth so visionary, that Reynolds has now varied his purpose to the proposition of fitting out a voyage of circumnavigation to the Southern Ocean. He has obtained numerous signatures in Baltimore to a memorial to Congress for this object, which, he says, will otherwise be very powerfully supported. It will, however, have no support in Congress. That day will come, but not yet, nor in my time. May it be my fortune and my praise to accelerate its approach!
Memoirs of John Quincy Adams, Vol VII, page 168

Once Andrew Jackson took office, any chance of Presidential support quickly disappeared.

Symmes himself never officially wrote about his version of the Hollow Earth theory, but a follower his, James McBride, did. The resulting book, Symme’s Theory of Concentric Spheres, is available at the Internet Archive. These days we expect our experts to boast some fancy letters behind their name, proof of their education to bolster the reliability of their methods. This title proudly boasts that it is ” By a Citizen of the United States”.

Birther Book, a Bit Too Late

April 27, 2011

Wing Nut Daily founder Joseph Farah will soon release a book on the ‘Birther’ conspiracy theory. But, since Obama has just released his long form birth certificate, it’s a bit like publishing a book on crop circles the day after Doug and Dave went public.

The comments by Farah underscore Obama’s observation Wednesday that hard-core birthers are unlikely to be persuaded by any evidence, no matter how compelling. “I know that there’s going to be a segment of people for which, no matter what we put out, this issue will not be put to rest,” Obama said at a White House press event to release the birth certificate.

Well, yeah. That’s kind of the definition of a conspiracy theory, isn’t it? A stupid idea that holds on despite the evidence instead of because of it.

Take the ‘UFOs build the pyramids’ people. There are a bunch of bricks stacked up in the desert, albeit large ones. Stacking bricks is something humans have done both before and after. The bricks were quarried right around the corner from the building site. There were earlier attempts at stacking bricks in this manner that failed. The rulers at the time were supreme dictators with huge egos. In no way could anyone look at the evidence and come to the conclusion that they were build by extraterrestrials. Unless, of course, you also assume that the extraterrestrials in question were no more intelligent than the people here on earth.

I have a theory, though, than is supported by the evidence. I propose that there is no way in hell that this man’s mustache is real. It’s just just drawn on with a marker, isn’t it?

Rep. Edward J. Markey Comments on Global Warming Bill

April 16, 2011

Trimming Christ’s Nails

April 13, 2011

It seems that finding a portion of the “one true cross” just isn’t enough anymore. An archeologist (of dubious merit), Simcha Jacobovici, known as the Naked Archeologist, is claiming to have unearthed the actual nails used to hang the Christian figure head to the crucifix. Do they turn ordinary well water into Pinot Noir? No.

Besides the failure to turn water into something desirable to drink, there are other problems. Not only are ancient nails a dime a dozen, theses nails in particular were found in a priest’s tomb (not substantiated as to who), lost, re-found 20 years later, only then to be hailed as Jesus’s crucifixian nails. Simcha has made similar: he found the Family Tomb of Jesus in 2007. And right before Easter, too.
See Dr Robert Cargill’s blog for more details.